As a painter dedicated to my craft, I drink vast quantities of alcohol on a daily basis. I have learned the hard way that one should never step near the easel and brushes and the tubes of paint unless one is staggering.

The lesson that I would wish to impart to all young, aspiring painters is this: "Your subject is the horror of being human. Drink heavily." Please contact me if you would like to see my paintings, or if you'd just like to share a few 24 oz Pabst Blue Ribbons. I'll be waiting.